Third Week Blog

Blog No. 3 "Self Portraits"

I continue to feel the affect of the various textures of nature on my art and on myself. Also, nature contributes to my feeling interconnected in an intricate web of my “Being”. My self-portraits exhibit that interaction between nature and my being in the now.

I find that living so close to the sea and in a small village (i.e. away from the big city) that I am more grounded as a body and spiritually more aware (especially symbols in my dreams). In addition, I truly believe that all the reading materials have awoken (within me) abilities and awarnesses that I was not conscious of before.

My self-portraits were created partially from my subconscience (i.e. I felt I was in a semi-trance, frame-of- mind). Each creation was symboloically infinite with each “self,” especially my “Secret Self” portrait. It embodied my many sufferings of inner frastrations as a result of my outside world in that artwork. Unfortuately, I made the mistake of showing my work to my close friend and my Portuguese teacher because they both were taken aback by it. They could not believe that I was capable of creating such a horrific image. I, in turn, was surprised with their negitive (almost demonic) reaction to me and my art (at that moment I could almost feel the agony and pain of centuries ago witches).

Finally, during this period of reading and creating this art I had a strange dream twice. I was in a semi-awake and dream state at both times when I thought I was seeing a huge, whitish and blur image of a monster standing at the foot of my bed next to my desk. Its arms and head were moving in a staionary swaying motion. Natually, I was taken aback with the vision and began thinking and annalizing it. When I dreamt it the second time, I realized that it was a white bear. I looked up the symbol for this animal in the Secret Language of Symbols reader and discovered that it symbolized strengh and bravery for the Native Americans and Chinese.

In conclusion, after this entire experience, I truly understand the following words uttered by Franz Liszt: “I feel that the various features of Nature around me…provoke an emotional reation in the depth of my soul, which I have tried to transcribe in Music” (Finding Flow, p45). I, in-turn, am trying to translate my soul in art.